Dan in Vegas

Dan
- Hey Lenne, wanna go downstairs and win some fat cash?
Lenne
- Why the fuck not?! I got sucker punched last night, might as well enjoy the rest of my vacations.
Dan
- I feel lucky tonight. I'm gonna clean out that poor little blackjack dealer.
Dealer
- Good night sir.
Dan
- Hey! Change for a hundred
Dealer
- You have to put the money on the table sir. I can not take money from a player's hand.
Dan
- Stupid fucking rule. Whatever!
Dealer
- You now have to place a bet. The table's minimum is 100$.
Dan
- Holy fuck! You fucking kidding me!? Shit. Ok then.
Dealer
- You have a seven and a jack for 17. T have a three. What do you want to do?
Dan
- Give me one more.
Dealer
- Are you sure? And the term is hit me
Dan
- You wanna get hit? Are you stoned?
Dealer
- No sir, when you want a card, you say hit me, it's the official term. Otherwise, if you want to stand, you say stand. Also, please remain polite.
Dan
- Well I don't give a shit, hit me!
Dealer
- Your call sir. A 9 for 26, you busted.
Dan
- What the fuck? That game is fucked! Fuck that! Hey Lenne, let's try the roulette.
Dealer
- Howdy, how y'all doin'?
Dan
- Damn!
Dealer
- So, how much can I do you for?
Dan
- Gimme chips for my Grant.
Dealer
- You want nickels or dimes?
Dan
- Are you fuckin' serious? I'm not wasting my time with that kind of money. Fuck that!
Dealer
- No! No! Nickels and dimes are expressions for 5 and 10 dollars chips. The table minimum is 5$.
Dan
- Well, why didn't you say so in the first place!? Give me DIMES then!!!
- Alright, so 20$ on black another 20 on odd numbers and a 10 on the first 12 numbers. Come on big money!
Dealer
- 36, even and red.
Dan
- Fuck that shit! Let's get the fuck outta here!
Lenne
- Hey Dan, what are all those Mexicans doin'?
Dan
- I think they're giving stuff away. Probably the flu! Holy shit dude! They're business cards with naked chicks on 'em. And their phone numbers. And look at the shit, that bitch is worth 69$.
- Let's fo back to the room and and order one. I got fucked twice tonite, I feel like fucking somebody now. It's my turn!
Lenne
- Are you sure? I think I'm gonna head down to the Planet Hollywood and shoot some craps in the Pleasure Pit.
Dan
- Poor bastard! While you'll be playing in the shitty Pleasure Pit, I'll be making one of my own.
Some times later
Dan
- Good evening...huh...Eve is it?
Eve
- Yes cutie. Nice room you have here. That'll be 150$ for a blowjob and I don't swallow.
Dan
- What the fuck!? The card said 69$!!!!!
Eve
- Yeah, for showing up.
Dan
- Well, see the thing is I only have 75$. I got fucked twice tonite at the casino.
Eve
- Fuck you asshole!
Dan
- Motherfuck! Why do I always end up in shitty situations like these? I love tits as much as the next guy, but I fucking hate my life.
Lenne
- DUDE, I WON 750$ AT THE CRAP TABLE! How did you do?
Dan
- Motherfuck!